The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse Chapter 1. ULTIMATUM

Bella,I dont demise w herefore youre making Charlie carry n 1s to billy the standardiseds of were in bet on grade if I trea accreditedd to lecture to you I would purpose the You crop the choice here(predicate), okay? You cant obliterate it a couple of(prenominal)(prenominal) ways when What leave of mortal enemies is alike complicated for you to Look, I realize Im creation a jerk, nevertheless on that points merely no way mediocre ab off We cant be fri conclusions when youre lapseing all your eon with a bunch of It mediocre makes it worse when I hypothesise ab arrive at sex forward you besides oft successions, so dont spell come start come step up of the closet whatevermore Yeah, I cut down you, too. A lot. Doesnt change e very amour. Sorry.JacobI ran my flicks across the page, feeling the dents where he had pressed the pen to the theme so leaden that it had nearly broken with. I could picture him writing this?scrawling the angry p ermitter in his rough flipwriting, slashing through bound after run a languish when the manner of speaking came out(p) wrong, maybe charge snapping the pen in his too- puffy muckle that would explain the ink splatters. I could work out the frustration move ining his foreboding(a) eyebrows to returnher and crumpling his fore gaffer. If itd been in that respect, I superpower sustain laughed. Dont give yourself a star hemorrhage, Jacob, I would have told him. salutary spit it out.Laughing was the farthest thing I felt like doing flat as I reread the speech communication Id already memorized. His answer to my pleading note?passed from Charlie to truncheon to him, estimable like second grade, as hed pointed out?was no surprise. Id k right offn the centre of tutelage of what it would say in advance Id equal to(p)ed it.What was surprising was how practically separately crossed-out line wounded me?as if the points of the allowters had cut of meatting edges. More t han that, shag each angry beginning lurked a vast pool of hurt Jacobs pain in the neck cut me deeper than my own.While I was pondering this, I caught the unmistakable wander of a smoking burner rising from the kitchen. In well-nigh other house, the fact that individual in addition myself was cooking might not be a bm for panicking.I shoved the wrinkled paper into my back pocket and ran. I do it downstairs in the nick of time.The jar of spaghetti sauce Charlied stuck in the micro-cook was only if on its first revolution when I yanked the door open and pulled it out. What did I do wrong? Charlie demanded. Youre supposed to adopt the lid finish up first, pascal. Metals bad for microwaves. I swiftly removed the lid as I spoke, poured half the sauce into a bowl, and quondam(prenominal) say the bowl wrong the microwave and the jar back in the fridge I unconquerable the time and pressed start.Charlie watched my ad notwithstandingments with pursed lips. Did I take hold o f the noodles rectify? I musical noteed in the pan on the stove?the semen of the smell that had alerted me. Stirring athletic supporters, I state mildly. I found a spoon and tried to de-clump the artificial hunk that was scalded at the bottom.Charlie sighed.So whats all this or so? I asked him.He folded his fortification across his chest and glargond out the back windows into the sheeting rain. Dont hold out what youre discourseing most, he grumbled.I was mystified. Charlie cooking? And what was with the surly attitude? Edward wasnt here yet usually my dad reserved this kind of behavior for my boyfriends benefit, doing his ruff to illustrate the theme of unwelcome with each word and posture. Charlies endeavors were unnecessary?Edward k tonic on the nose what my dad was call ining without the show.The word boyfriend had me chewing on the within of my cheek with familiar tension dapple I stirred. It wasnt the right word, not at all. I pick uped any(prenominal)thing more expressive of eternal committal?. entirely words like destiny and fate sounded hokey when you utilize them in casual conversition.Edward had another word in mind, and that word was the quotation of the tension I felt. It put my teething on edge dear to cogitate it to myself.Fianc??e. Ugh. I shuddered absent from the though.Did you scat something? Since when do you make dinner spoty? I asked Charlie. The pasta lump bobbed in the boiling water as I poked it. Or try to make dinner, I should say.Charlie shrugged. at that places no righteousness that says I cant cook in my own house.You would know, I replied, grinning as I eyed the badge pinned to his leather jacket.Ha. Good one. He shrugged out of the jacket as if my glance had reminded him he s bowl had it on, and hung it on the spliff reserved for his gear. His gun belt was already slung in place?he hadnt felt the need to wear that to the station for a a couple of(prenominal) weeks. There had been no more disturb ing disappearances to trouble the small town of Forks, Washington, no more sighting of the giant, mysterious wolves in the ever-rainy woods?.I prodded the noodles in silence, guessing that Charlie would get around to talking about whatever was bothering him in his own time. My dad was not a man of m any words, and the effort he had put into difficult to orchestrate a sit-down dinner with me made it clear there were an unusual characteristic number of words on his mind.I glanced at the clock routinely?something I did any few minutes around this time. Less than a half minute to go now.Afternoons were the dangerousest part of my daylight. Ever since my causality best friend (and werewolf), Jacob Black, had intercommunicate on me about the motorcycle Id been riding on the sly?a betrayal he had devised in order to get my grounded so that I couldnt spend time with my boyfriend (and lamia), Edward Cullen?Edward had been allowed to see me only from s plain till nine-thirty p.m., in variably inside the confines of my home and under the supervision of my dads unfailingly crabby glare.This was an escalation from the previous, slenderly less stringent grounding that Id earned from an unexplained three-day disappearance and one episode of cliff diving.Of course, I stock-still saying Edward at schooltime, because there wasnt anything Charlie could do about that. And then, Edward spent al nigh e rattling night in my room, too, only if Charlie wasnt precisely aware of that. Edwards ability to grow easily and silently through my second-story window was almost as useful as his ability to read Charlies mind.Though the afternoon was the only time I spent absent from Edward, it was enough to make me restless, and the hours always dragged. Still, I endured my punishment without complaining because?for one thing?I k vernal Id earned it, and?for another?because I couldnt bear to hurt my dad by moving out now, when a much more permanent separation h all overed, invisib le to Charlie, so c regress on my horizon.My dad sat down at the send back with a grunt and unfolded the damp impudentlyspaper there within seconds he was clucking his tongue in disapproval.I dont know why you read the paper, protoactinium. It only ticks you off.He ignored me, grumbling at the paper in his hands. This is why everyone extremitys to live in a small town Ridiculous.What have big cities done wrong now?Seattles making a run for mangle capitol of the country. Five unsolved homicides in the last two weeks. Can you view living like that?I think Phoenix is actually heights up in the homicide list, Dad. I have lived like that. And Id never come close to existence a transfer victim until after I moved to his safe minor town. In fact, was still on several(prenominal) hit lists?. The spoon shook in my hands, making the water tremble.Well, you couldnt committle me enough, Charlie said.I gave up on saving dinner and settled for answer it I had to use a steak knife to cut a arrogate of spaghetti for Charlie and then myself, while he watched with a sheepish style. Charlie coated his circumstances with sauce and dug in. I disguised my own clump as well as I could and followed his example without much enthusiasm. We ate in silence for a florists chrysanthemument. Charlie was still scanning the news, so I picked up my much-abused copy of Wuthering senior high from where Id left hand it this morning at breakfast, and tried to lose myself in the turn-of-the-century England while I waited for him to start talking.I was nevertheless to the part where Heathcliff returns when Charlie well-defined his throat and threw the paper to the floor.Youre right, Charlie said. I did have a effort for doing this. He waved his divide at the gluey spread. I wanted to talk to you.I laid the book aside the binding was so undone that it slumped flat to the control panel. You could have yet asked.He nodded, his eyebrows pulling together. Yeah. Ill remember tha t adjacent time. I sentiment taking dinner off your hands would violate you up.I laughed. It worked?your cooking skills have me soft as a marshmallow. What do you need, Dad?Well, its about Jacob.I felt my salute stiffen. What about him? I asked through stiff lips.Easy, Bells. I know youre still upset that he told on you, nevertheless it was the right thing. He was being responsible.Responsible, I retell scathingly, rolling my eyeball. Right. So what about Jacob?The careless question repeated inside my head, anything but trivial. What about Jacob? What was I spill to do about him? My former best friend who was now?what? My enemy? I cringed.Charlies strikingness was utterly wary. Dont get mad at me, okay?Mad?Well, its about Edward, too.My look narrowed.Charlies theatrical role got gruffer. I let him in the house, dont I?You do, I admitted. For legal apprize periods of time. Of course, you might let me out of the house for brief periods of time now and then, too, I conti nued?only jokingly I knew I was on lockdown for the duration of the school year. Ive been pretty dear lately.Well, thats kind of where I was header with this?. And then Charlies face stretched into an unexpected eye-crinkling grin for a second he looked twenty years younger.I saw a dim glow of possibility in that smile, but I proceeded slowly. Im confused, Dad. Are we talking about Jacob, or Edward, or me being grounded?The grin flashed again. Sort of all three.And how do they relate? I asked, cautious.Okay. He sighed, raising his hands as if in surrender. So Im thinking maybe you merit a parole for good behavior. For a teenager, youre surprisingly non-whiney.My voice and eyebrows shot up. Seriously? Im free?Where was this culmination from? Id been positive I would be under house arrest until I actually moved out, and Edward hadnt picked up any wavering in Charlies thoughts?.Charlie held up one finger. Conditionally.The enthusiasm vanished. Fantastic, I groaned.Bella, this is m ore of a request than a demand, okay? Youre free. But Im hoping youll use that freedom?judiciously.What does that mean?He sighed again. I know youre satisfied to spend all your time with Edward? I spend time with Alice, too, I interjected. Edwards sister had no hours of visitation she came and went as she pleased. Charlie was apply in her capable hands. Thats true, he said. But you have other friends besides the Cullens, Bella. Or you used to.We stared at each other for a long flash. When was the last time you spoke to Angela Weber? he threw at me.Friday at lunch, I answered immediately. Before Edwards return, my school friends had polarized into two groups. I liked to think of those groups as good vs. evil. Us and them worked, too. The good guys were Angela, her steady boyfriend Ben Cheney, and mike Newton these three had all very generously forgiven me for going daft when Edward left. Lauren Mallory was the evil core of the them side, and almost everyone else, including my fi rst friend in Forks, Jessica Stanley, seemed mental object to go along with her anti-Bella agenda.With Edward back at school, the dividing line had become even more distinct. Edwards return had taken its toll on Mikes familiarity, but Angela was unswervingly loyal, and Ben followed her lead. Despite the natural aversion most gentles felt toward the Cullens, Angela sat duti dependabley beside Alice every day at lunch. After a few weeks, Angela even looked comfortable there. It was difficult not to be charmed by the Cullens?once one gave them the chance to be charming.Outside of school? Charlie asked, handicraft my attention back. I havent seen anyone outside of school, Dad. Grounded, remember? And Angela has a boyfriend, too. Shes always with Ben. If Im unfeignedly free, I added, heavy on the skepticism, maybe we could double. Okay. But then? He hesitated. You and Jake used to be marryed at the hip, and now? I cut him off. Can you get to the point, Dad? Whats your condition?exa ctly? I dont think you should dump all your other friends for your boyfriend, Bella, he said in a stern voice. Its not nice, and I think your spirit would be develop balanced if you kept some other plenty in it. What happened last September? I flinched. Well, he said defensively. If youd had more of a tone outside of Edward Cullen, it might not have been like that. It would have been exactly like that, I muttered. Maybe, maybe not. The point? I reminded him. Use your new freedom to see your other friends, too. Keep it balanced. I nodded slowly. Balance is good. Do I have specific time quotas to fill, though? He made a face, but shook his head. I dont want to make this complicated. secure dont forget about your friends?particularly Jacob. It took me a moment to find the right words. Jacob might be?difficult. The Blacks are practically family, Bella he said, stern and paternal again. And Jacob has been a very, very good friend to you. I know that. Dont you dud him at all? Charl ie asked, frustrated. My throat unawares felt swollen I had to clear it twice before I answered. Yes, I do miss him, I admitted, still looking down. I miss him a lot. thusly why is it difficult?It wasnt something I was at liberty to explain. It was against the rules for normal mountain?human people like me and Charlie?to know about the clandestine human being full of myths and monsters that existed secretly around us. I knew all about that land?and I was in no small amount of trouble as a result. I wasnt about to get Charlie in the same trouble.With Jacob there is?a conflict, I said slowly. A conflict about the friendship thing, I mean. Friendship doesnt always seem to be enough for Jake. I wound my excuse out of details that were true but insignificant, fair crucial compared to the fact that Jacobs werewolf camp officeterly hated Edwards lamia family?and therefore me, too, as I fully intended to join that family. It just wasnt something I could work out with him in a note, and he wouldnt answer my calls. But my plan to deal with the werewolf in person had unquestionably not gone over will with the vampires.Isnt Edward up for a midget healthy competition? Charlies voice was sarcastic now.I leveled a rancid look at him. Theres no competition.Youre hurting Jakes feelings, avoiding him like this. Hed rather be just friends than nothing.Oh, now I was avoiding him?Im pretty sure Jake doesnt want to be friends at all. The words burned in my mouth. Whered you get that idea, anyway?Charlie looked crushed now. The subject might have come up today with Billy?.You and Billy gossip like old women, I complained, stabbing my fork viciously into the congealed spaghetti on my plate.Billys worried about Jacob, Charlie said. Jakes having a hard time right now?. Hes depressed.I winced, but kept my eye on the blob.And then you were always so happy after using up the day with Jake. Charlie sighed.Im happy now, I growled fiercely through my teeth.The contrast amid my words and tone broke through the tension. Charlie burst into laughter, and I had to join in.Okay, okay, I agreed. Balance.And Jacob, he insisted.Ill try.Good. Find that balance, Bella. And, oh, yeah, youve got some mail, Charlie said, closing the subject with no attempt at subtlety. Its by the stove.I didnt move, my thoughts twisting into snarls around Jacobs take a leak. It was most likely junk mail Id just gotten a package from my mom yesterday and I wasnt expecting anything else.Charlie shoved his chair away from the table stretched as he got to his feet. He took his plate to the sink, but before he turned the water on to rinse it, he paused to toss a thick windbag at me. The letter skidded across the table and thunked into my elbow.Er, thanks, I muttered, puzzled by his pushiness. past I saw the return address?the letter was from the University of Alaska Southeast. That was ready. I guess I missed the deadline on that one, too.Charlie chuckled.I flipped the envelope over an d then glared up at him. Its open.I was curious.Im shocked, Sheriff. Thats a federal crime.Oh, just read it.I pulled out the letter, and a folded schedule of courses.Congratulations, he said before I could read anything. Your first acceptance.Thanks, Dad.We should talk about tuition. Ive got some money keep upd up?Hey, hey, none of that. Im not touching your retirement, Dad. Ive got my college fund. What was left of it?and there hadnt been much to begin with.Charlie frowned. Some of these places are pretty pricey, Bells. I want to help. You dont have to go all the way to Alaska just because its cheaper.It wasnt cheaper, not at all. But it was far away, and Juneau had an average of three one hundred twenty-one overcast days per year. The first was my prerequisite, the second was Edwards.Ive got it covered. Besides, theres lots of fiscal aid out there. Its easy to get loans. I hoped my bluff wasnt too obvious. I hadnt actually done a lot of research on the subject.So?, Charlie began , and then pursed his lips and looked away.So what? nonhing. I was just? He frowned. and wondering what?Edwards plans are for next year?Oh.Well?Three quick raps on the door saved me. Charlie rolled his look and I jumped up. coming I called while Charlie mumbled something that sounded like, Go away. I ignored him and went to let Edward in.I wrenched the door out of my way?ridiculously eager?and there he was, my personal miracle.Time had not made me immune to the perfection of his face, and I was sure that I would never take any aspect of him for granted. My eyeball traced over his pale white features the hard square of his converse, the softer curve of his full lips?twisted up into a smile now, the straight line of his nose, the frosty angle of his cheekbones, the smooth marble span of his forehead?partially obscured by a tangle of rain-darkened bronze hair?.I saved his eyes for last, knowing that when I looked into them I was likely to lose my train of thought. They were wide, loosen up with liquid gold, and framed by a thick fringe of bleak lashes. Staring into his eyes always made me feel extraordinary? expression of like my bones were bit spongy. I was also a little lightheaded, but that could have been because Id forgotten to oblige breathing.It was a face any male model in the world would trade his soul for. Of course, that might be exactly the asking price one soul.No. I didnt believe that. I felt guilty for even thinking it, and was cheerful?as I was often smiling?that I was the one person whose thoughts were a mystery to Edward.I reached for his hand, and sighed when his cold fingers found mine. His touch brought with it the strangest sniff out of relief?as if Id been in pain and than pain had suddenly ceased.Hey. I smiled a little at my anticlimactic greeting.He raised our fretted fingers to brush my cheek with the back of his hand. How was your afternoon?Slow.For me, as well.He pulled my wrist up to his face, our hands still twisted tog ether. His eyes closed as his nose skimmed along the skin there, and he smiled softly without possible action them. Enjoying the bouquet while resisting the wine, as hed once put it.I knew that the look of my blood?so much sweeter to him than any other persons blood, truly like wine beside water to an alcoholic?caused him actual pain from the burning crave it engendered. But he didnt seem to shy away from it as much as he once had. I could only dimly imagine the Herculean effort behind this simple gesture.It made me sad that he had to try so hard. I comforted myself with the knowledge that I wouldnt be causing him pain much thirster.I detectd Charlie approaching then, stamping his feet on the way to express his customary displeasure with our guest. Edwards eyes snapped open and let our hands fall, belongings them twined.Good evening, Charlie. Edward was always flawlessly polite, though Charlie didnt deserve it.Charlie grunted at him, and then stood there with his arms crossed over his chest. He was taking the idea of parental supervision to extremes lately.I brought another set of applications, Edward told me then, holding up a stuffed manila envelope. He was wearing a roll of stamps like a ring around his littlest finger.I groaned. How were there any colleges left that he hadnt forced me to apply to already? And how did he keep finding these loophole openings? It was so late in the year.He smiled as if he could read my thoughts they must have been very obvious on my face. There are still a few open deadlines. And a few places willing to make exceptions.I could just imagine the motivations behind such exceptions. And the dollar amounts involved.Edward laughed at my expression.Shall we? he asked, towing me toward the kitchen table.Charlie huffed and followed behind, though he could hardly complain about the activity on tonights agenda. Hed been pestering me to make a decision about college on a daily basis.I cleared the table quickly while Edward organi zed an intimidating stack of forms. When I moved Wuthering Heights to the counter, Edward raised one eyebrow. I knew what he was thinking, but Charlie interrupted before Edward could comment.Speaking of college applications, Edward, Charlie said, his tone even more dark?he tried to avoid addressing Edward directly, and when he had to, it exacerbated his bad mood. Bella and I were just talking about next year. Have you decided where youre going to school? Edward smiled up at Charlie and his voice was friendly. Not yet. Ive received a few acceptance letters, but Im still weighing my options. Where have you been legitimate? Charlie pressed. siege of Syracuse?Harvard?Dartmouth?and I just got accepted to the University of Alaska Southeast today. Edward turned his face slightly to the side so that he could wink at me. I smother a giggle.Harvard? Dartmouth? Charlie mumbled, unable to conceal his awe. Well thats pretty?thats something. Yeah, but the University of Alaska?you wouldnt in r eality consider that when you could go Ivy League. I mean, your father would want you to? Carlisles always fine with whatever I choose to do, Edward told him serenely. Hmph. Guess what, Edward? I asked in a bright voice, playing along. What, Bella? I pointed to the thick envelope on the counter. I just got my acceptance to the University of Alaska Congratulations He grinned. What a coincidence. Charlies eyes narrowed and he glared back and forth between the two of us. Fine, he muttered after a minute. Im going to watch the game, Bella. Nine-thirty. That was his usual parting command. Er, Dad? Remember the very recent backchat about my freedom?? He sighed. Right. Okay, ten-thirty. You still have a curfew on school nights. Bellas no longer grounded? Edward asked. Though I knew he wasnt really surprised, I couldnt detect any false note to the sudden excitement in his voice. Conditionally, Charlie corrected through his teeth. Whats it to you? I frowned at my dad, but he didnt see. Its just good to know, Edward said. Alice has been itch for a shopping partner, and Im sure Bella would love to see some metropolis lights. He smiled at me. But Charlie growled, No and his face flushed purple. Dad Whats the problem? He made an effort to unclench his teeth. I dont want you going to Seattle right now. Huh? I told you about that story in the paper?theres some kind of gang on a killing spree in Seattle and I want you to steer clear, okay? I rolled my eyes. Dad, theres a better chance that Ill get struck by lightning than the one day Im in Seattle? No, thats fine, Charlie, Edward said, interrupting me. I didnt mean Seattle. I was thinking Portland, actually. I wouldnt have Bella in Seattle, either. Of course not. I looked at him in disbelief, but he had Charlies newspaper in his hands and he was reading the front page intently. He must have been stressful to placate my dad. The idea of being in danger from even the most deadly of earth while I was with Alice or Edward was downright hilarious.It worked. Charlie stared at Edward for one second more, and then shrugged. Fine. He stalked off toward the living room, in a bit of a hurry now?maybe he didnt want to miss tip-off. I waited till the TV was on, so that Charlie wouldnt be able to hear me. What?, I started to ask. Hold on, Edward said without looking up from the paper. His eyes stayed center on the page as he pushed the first application toward me across the table. I think you can recycle your essays for this one. Same questions. Charlie must still be listening. I sighed and started to fill out the repetitive learning name, address, kindly?. After a few minutes I glanced up, but Edward was now staring pensively out the window. As I bent my head back to my work, I noticed for the first time the name of the school. I snorted and shoved the papers aside. Bella? Be serious, Edward. Dartmouth? Edward lifted the discarded application and laid it gently in front of me again. I think youd like New Hamps hire, he said. Theres a full complement of night courses for me, and the forests are conveniently located for the avid hiker. Plentiful wildlife. He pulled out that crooked smile he knew I couldnt resist.I took a deep breath through my nose. Ill let you pay me back, if that makes you happy, he promised. If you want, I can charge you interest. Like I could even get in without some enormous bribe. Or was that part of the loan? The new Cullen wing of the library? Ugh. Why are we having this discussion again? Will you just fill out the application, please, Bella? It wont hurt you to apply. My jaw flexed. You know what? I dont think I will. I reached for the papers, planning to rake them into a suitable shape for lobbing at the trashcan, but they were already gone. I stared at the empty table for a moment, and then at Edward. He didnt appear to have moved, but the application was probably already inclose away in his jacket. What are you doing? I demanded. I sign your name better than you do yourself. Youve already written the essays. Youre going way overboard with this, you know. I whispered on the off chance that Charlie wasnt completely wooly in the game. I really dont need to apply anywhere else. Ive been accepted in Alaska. I can almost afford the first semesters tuition. Its as good an alibi as any. Theres no need to throw away a bunch of money, no matter whose it is.A pained look tightened his face. Bella? Dont start. I agree that I need to go through the motions for Charlies sake, but we both know that Im not going to be in any condition to go to school next fall. To be anywhere near people.My knowledge of those first few years as a new vampire was sketchy. Edward had never gone into details?it wasnt his favorite subject?but I knew it wasnt pretty. Self-control was apparently an acquired skill. Anything more than correspondence school was out of the question. I thought the timing was still undecided, Edward reminded me softly. You might enjoy a semester or two of college. There are a lot of human experiences youve never had. Ill get to those afterward. They wont be human experiences afterward. You dont get a second chance at humanity, Bella. I sighed. Youve got to be reasonable about the timing, Edward. Its just too dangerous to mess around with. Theres no danger yet, he insisted.I glared at him. No danger? Sure. I only had a sadistic vampire trying to avenge her mates death with my own, preferably through some slow and tortuous method. Who was worried about Victoria? And, oh yeah, the Volturi?the vampire royal family with their small army of vampire warriors?who insisted that my heart s legislate get the better of one way or another in the near future, because humans werent allowed to know they existed. Right. No reason at all to panic.Even with Alice keeping watch?Edward was relying on her uncannily accurate visions of the future to give us advance warning?it was insane to take chances. Besides, Id already won this argument. The day of the month for my transformation was tentatively set for shortly after my graduation from high school, only a handful of weeks away.A sharp jolt of edginess pierced my stomach as I realized how short the time really was. Of course this change was necessary?and the key to what I wanted more than everything else in the world put together?but I was deeply witting of Charlie sitting in the other room enjoying his game, just like every other night. And my mother, Renee, far away in dexterous Florida, still pleading with me to spend the summer on the beach with her and her new husband. And Jacob, who, unlike my parents, would know exactly what was going on when I disappeared to some distant school. Even if my parents didnt grow suspicious for a long time, even if I could put off visits with excuses about travel expenses or uncompromising loads or illnesses, Jacob would know the truth.For a moment, the idea of Jacobs certain revulsion overshadowed every other pain. Bella, Edwar d murmured, his face twisting when he read the sadness in mine. Theres no hurry. I wont let anyone hurt you. You can take all the time you need. I want to hurry, I whispered, smiling weakly, trying to make a joke of it. I want to be a monster, too.His teeth clutch he spoke through them. You have no idea what youre saying. Abruptly, he flung the damp newspaper onto the table between us. His finger stabbed the headline on the front pageDEATH TOLL ON THE RISE, POLICE FEAR GANG ACTIVITYWhat does that have to do with anything? Monsters are not a joke, Bella. I stared at the headline again, and then up to his hard expression. A?a vampire is doing this? I whispered. He smiled without humor. His voice was low and cold. Youd be surprised, Bella, at how often my kind are the source behind the horrors in your human news. Its easy to recognize, when you know what to look for. The information here indicates a newborn vampire is loose in Seattle. Bloodthirsty, wild, out of control. The way we a ll were. I let my gaze drop to the paper again, avoiding his eyes.Weve been monitoring the situation for a few weeks. All the signs are there?the unlikely disappearances, always in the night, the poorly disposed-of corpses, the lack of other enjoin?. Yes, someone brand-new. And no one seems to be taking responsibility for the catechumen?. He took a deep breath. Well, its not our problem. We wouldnt even pay attention to the situation if it wasnt going on so close to home. Like I said, this happens all the time. The existence of monsters results in monstrous consequences.I tried not to see the names on the page, but they jumped out from the rest of the grade like they were in bold. The five people whose lives were over, whose families were mourning now. It was different from considering murder in the abstract, reading those names. Maureen Gardiner, Geoffrey Campbell, Grace Razi, Michelle OConnell, Ronald Albrook. People whod had parents and children and friends and pets and jobs a nd hopes and plans and memories and futures?. It wont be the same for me, I whispered, half to myself. You wont let me be like that. Well live in Antarctica.Edward snorted, breach the tension. Penguins. Lovely.I laughed a shaky laugh and knocked the paper off the table so I wouldnt have to see those names it hit the lino with a thud. Of course Edward would consider the hunting possibilities. He and his vegetarian family?all affiliated to protecting human life?preferred the flavor of large predators for straight their dietary needs. Alaska, then, as planned. Only somewhere much more international than Juneau?somewhere with grizzlies galore. Better, he allowed. There are polar bears, too. actually fierce. And the wolves get quite large.My mouth fell open and my breath blew out in a sharp gust. Whats wrong? he asked. Before I could recover, the confusion vanished and his whole bole seemed to harden. Oh. Never mind the wolves, then, if the idea is unsavory to you. His voice was stiff, formal, his shoulders rigid. He was my best friend, Edward, I muttered. It stung to use the past tense. Of course the idea offends me. revel forgive my thoughtlessness, he said, still very formal. I shouldnt have suggested that. Dont commove about it. I stared at my hands, clenched into a double fist on the table. We were both silent for a moment, and then his quiet finger was under my chin, coaxing my face up. His expression was much softer now. Sorry. Really.I know. I know its not the same thing. I shouldnt have reacted that way. Its just that?well, I was already thinking about Jacob before you came over. I hesitated. His tawny eyes seemed to get a little but darker whenever I said Jacobs name. My voice turned pleading in response. Charlie says Jake is having a hard time. Hes hurting right now, and?its my fault.Youve done nothing wrong, Bella. I took a deep breath. I need to make it better, Edward. I owe him that. And its one of Charlies conditions, anyway? His face chan ged while I spoke, good turn hard again, statue-like. You know its out of the question for you to be around a werewolf unprotected, Bella. And it would break the treaty if any of us cross over onto their land. Do you want us to start a war? Of course not Then theres really no point in discussing the matter further. He dropped his hand and looked away, searching for a subject change. His eyes paused on something behind me, though his eyes stayed wary. Im glad Charlie has decided to let you out?youre sadly in need of a visit to the bookstore. I cant believe youre reading Wuthering Heights again. Dont you know it by heart yet?Not all of us have photographic memories, I said curtly. Photographic memory or not, I dont understand why you like it. The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others lives. I dont know how Heathcliff and Cathy ended up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isnt a love story, its a hate story.You have some s erious issues with the classics, I snapped. Perhaps its because Im not impressed by antiquity. He smiled, evidently satisfied that hed distracted me. frankly though, why do you read it over and over? His eyes were magnificent with real interest now, trying?again?to unravel the convoluted kit and caboodle of my mind. He reached across the table to cradle my face in his hand. What is it that appeals to you?His unbiased curiosity disarmed me. Im not sure, I said, scrambling for coherency while his gaze unintentionally scattered my thoughts. I think its something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart?not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end?.His face was thoughtful as he considered my words. After a moment he smiled a teasing smile. I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one deliver quality. I think that may be the point, I disagreed. Their love is their only redeeming quality. I hope you have better sense than that?to f all in love with someone so?malignant. Its a bit late for me to worry about who I fall in love with, I pointed out. But even without the warning, I seem to have managed fairly well. He laughed quietly. Im glad you think so.Well, I hope youre smart enough to stay away from someone so selfish. Catherine is really the source of all the trouble, not Heathcliff. Ill be on my guard, he promised. I sighed. He was so good at distractions. I put my hand over his to hold it to my face. I need to see Jacob. His eyes closed. No.Its truly not dangerous at all, I said, pleading again. I used to spend all day in La Push with the whole lot of them, and nothing every happened.But I made a slip my voice faltered at the end because I realized as I was saying the words that they were a lie. It was not true that nothing had ever happened. A brief flash of memory?an enormous gray wolf crouched to spring, baring his dagger-like teeth at me?had my palms sweating with an echo of remembered panic.Edward hear d my heart accelerate and nodded as if Id acknowledged the lie aloud. Werewolves are unstable. Sometimes the people near them get hurt. Sometimes, they get killed.I wanted to deny it, but another bod slowed my rebuttal. I saw in my head the once beautiful face of Emily Young, now marred by a trio of dark scars that dragged down the corner of her right eye and left her mouth warped endlessly into a lopsided scowl. He waited, grimly triumphant, for me to find my voice.You dont know them, I whispered. I know them better than you think, Bella. I was here the last time. The last time? We started crossing paths with the wolves about seventy years ago?. We had just settled near Hoquiam. That was before Alice and Jasper were with us. We outnumbered them, but that wouldnt have stopped it from turning into a fight if not for Carlisle. He managed to convince Ephraim Black that coexistent was possible, and eventually we made the truce.Jacobs great-grandfathers name startled me.We thought the line had died out with Ephraim, Edward muttered it sounded like he was talking to himself now. That the genetic quirk which allowed transmutation had been doomed?. He broke off and stared at me accusingly. Your bad luck seems to get more potent every day. Do you realize that your insatiable pull for all things deadly was strong enough to recover a pack of mutant canines from extinction? If we could bottle your luck, wed have a weapon of stool destruction on our hands.I ignored the ribbing, my attention caught by his laying claim?was he serious?But I didnt bring them back. Dont you know? kip down what? My bad luck has nothing to do with it. The werewolves came back because the vampires did. Edward stared at me, his body motionless with surprise. Jacob told me that your family being here set things in motion. I thought you would already know?. His eyes narrowed. Is that what they think? Edward, look at the facts. lxx years ago, you came here, and the werewolves showed up. You come back now, and the werewolves show up again. Do you think thats a coincidence? He blinked and his glare relaxed. Carlisle will be raise in that theory.Theory, I scoffed.He was silent for a moment, staring out the window into the rain I imagined he was contemplating the fact that his familys presence was turning the locals into giant dogs.Interesting, but not exactly relevant, he murmured after a moment. The situation remains the same. I could translate that easily enough no werewolf friends.I knew I must be patient with Edward. It wasnt that he was unreasonable it was just that he didnt understand. He had no idea how very much I owed Jacob Black?my life many times over, and mayhap my sanity, too.I didnt like to talk about that barren time with anyone, and peculiarly not Edward. He had only been trying to save me when hed left, trying to save my soul. I didnt hold him responsible for all the stupid things Id done in his absence, or the pain I had suffered. He did.So I would have to word my explanation very carefully. I got up and walked around the table. He opened his arms for me and I sat on his lap, nestling into his cool stone embrace. I looked at his hands while I spoke.Please just listen for a minute. This is so much more grievous than some whim to drop in on an old friend. Jacob is in pain. My voice distorted around the word. I cant not try to help him?I cant give up on him now, when he needs me. Just because hes not human all the time?. Well, he was there for me when I was?not so human myself. You dont know what it was like?. I hesitated. Edwards arms were rigid around me his hands were in fists now, the tendons standing out. If Jacob hadnt helped me?Im not sure what you would have come home to. I have to try and make it better. I owe him better than this, Edward.I looked up at his face warily. His eyes were closed, and his jaw was strained. Ill never forgive myself for leaving you, he whispered. Not if I live a hundred thousand years. I put my hand a gainst his cold face and waited until he sighed and opened his eyes. You were just trying to do the right thing. And Im sure it would have worked with anyone less mental than me. Besides, youre here now. Thats the part that matters. If itd never left, you wouldnt feel the need to go risk your life to comfort a dog.I flinched. I was used to Jacob and all his derogatory slurs?bloodsucker, leech, parasite?. Somehow it sounded harsher in Edwards velvet voice.I dont know how to pronounce this properly, Edward said, and his tone was bleak. Its going to sound cruel, I suppose. But Ive come too close to losing you in the past. I know what it feels like to think I have. I am not going to tolerate anything dangerous. You have to self-assertion me on this. Ill be fine. His face was pained again. Please, Bella, he whispered. I stared into his suddenly burning golden eyes. Please what? Please, for me. Please make a conscious effort to keep yourself safe. Ill do everything I can, but I would esteem a little help. Ill work on it, I murmured. Do you really have any idea how important you are to me? Any creation at all of how much I love? He pulled me tighter against his hard chest, tucking my head under his chin.I pressed my lips against his snow-cold neck. I know how much I love you, I answered.You compare one small point to the entire forest. I rolled my eyes, but he couldnt see. Impossible. He kissed the top of my head and sighed. No werewolves. Im not going along with that. I have to see Jacob. Then Ill have to stop you. He sounded utterly convinced(p) that this wouldnt be a problem. I was sure he was right. Well see about that, I bluffed anyway. Hes still my friend.I could feel Jacobs note in my pocket, like it suddenly weighed ten pounds. I could hear the words in his voice, and he seemed to be agreeing with Edward?something that would never happen in reality. Doesnt change anything. Sorry.